Are you a Wolve?  Take the Test!

1. An aged geezer wearing a leather jacket with an attached ski lift ticket approaches you at the rink and wants to play on your Division 1 team.  he offers to pay extra and take you to some Ducks games.  You:
• (a)  tell the old pervert to get lost and call the police
• (b)  tell him Ok, and make him the team captain
• (c)  realize you are talking to your reflection in the mirror
2. You are:
• (a)  between 18 and 36 years old and in good physical condition
• (b)  over 50 and overweight
• (c)  older than dirt and just as mobile
3. When skating backwards on defense, you:
• (a)  are able to keep pace with the offensive player
• (b)  never skate backwards, because it is always better to pinch in at the point
• (c)  grab hold of the offensive player as he tries to pass you and haul him down
4. In the defensive zone, you:
• (a)  cover your man
• (b)  what’s the defensive zone?
• (c)  cross-check someone as hard as possible
5. When breaking out of the defensive zone, you:
• (a)  carry the puck out
• (b)  make sure to hold the puck for three seconds before trying a soft pass in front of the goalie
• (c)  cross-check someone as hard as possible
6. “Back-checking” is
• (a)  an important part of the game
• (b)  too tiring if you want to stay on the ice for your full five-minute shift
• (c)  what you count on the forwards to do after you unsuccessfully pinched in at the point
7. The ref blows the whistle in your defensive zone.  You:
• (a)  ask him what the call is
• (b)  call him a moron and argue until he gives you a penalty
• (c)  head straight for the penalty box
8. Your team is down 9 - 6 with three minutes to play.  You:
• (a)  keep playing hard
• (b)  call Pineapple Hill to make sure that the kitchen will still be open
• (c)  pull the goalie
9. The referee calls your team off-sides.  you:
• (a)  line up for the face-off
• (b)  call him a moron and argue the call until he gives you a penalty
• (c)  pull the goalie
10. After the game, you:
• (a)  go to a bar
• (b)  go to the Pineapple Hill Saloon
• (c)  forget where you are

Correct answers and scoring below.

Give yourself

2 points for each “a” answer
1 point for each “b” answer
0 points for each “c” answer

If your score is 13 - 20, you will never fit in on the Wolves
If your score is 1 - 12, you are clearly a long-time Wolves team member
If you picked “c” for every question and scored a perfect 0, click on the Melnick Division, get the schedule and we’ll see you at the next game.